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Our divorce statistics currently show that 50% of marriages end in divorce so it’s no wonder so many are trying to find some good marriage help to keep it together. The option of divorce can be very costly both financially and emotionally. It can also have a huge devastating effect on children leaving them with deep wounds.

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

If you or your spouse is talking about getting a divorce because things seem so bad, then it’s time to consider what you can do to turn things around and with some good marriage help. The important thing to remember is not to leave it to chance that your spouse will take the initiative or even want to save it. The good news however, is you may well be able to save the marriage that seems destined to fail with a positive attitude and some good marriage help. If you follow these 4 small tips you may well find they will have a huge impact and bring about the outcome you desire.

  1. Stop complaining and criticizing. This always has a negative impact on a relationship. Believe in yourself and that the future of the relationship can be transformed into a healthy and enjoyable relationship. It’s not easy or quick, but it is essential to save the marriage from breaking up.  Monitor carefully what you’re saying and take responsibility for your words. Make sure they are positive and constructive. Let’s face it who wants to be married to someone who criticizes, nags and complains? This is destructive and you must stop it to save your marriage. As you start to put this change into effect you’ll likely find that your spouse will also start to change their manner and attitude to you.
  2. Develop a positive attitude by considering all the good things of the past and present. This may seem impossible when you’re hurt and frustrated, but make the choice not to be emotional at this point but to be positive and analytical. Write down all the things that attracted you to your spouse and what good things you have since discovered about them.  Be determined and positive, and that will help develop a positive outcome.
  3. Begin to write down the positive qualities of your spouse. Even if this seems hard and you have to dig deep they will have some. If it make it easier image you were selling them for a million dollars. How would you extol their virtues to make the sale and get the money? Once you have compiled a list start to be appreciative of having those in your relationship and begin in a sincere way to express that to them. Remember that genuine praise and appreciation can be powerful tools to rebuild the relationship.
  4. If communication has dried up between you and you’re ready to start working on the issues then it’s time to tell your spouse that. Be gentle and understanding giving them plenty of time and space. When there willing to cooperate, write down what you think the problem issues are and ask your spouse to do the same. Exchange lists and give each other time to consider the points you’ve made. This maybe a few days depending on the seriousness and quantity of points of concern. When the time is right come together again to discuss them. During your discussion time, stay calm and listen carefully to each other. Decide on what you changes you can make immediately and begin on those agreeing to return to the list after a week to review the changes and reconsider the others. Continue in this manner until all points are resolved. If there are more serious matters that you can’t resolve then you may need to get a third party involved such as a friend, minister or professional.

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If you maintain a positive, respectful and loving attitude you will probably be able to resolve all the issues between yourselves. Taking the time and making the effort will show your spouse that you’re serious about making it work. As they see this attitude they will most likely respond in like manner. If you find you keep hitting a brick wall on any particular point then you need to be patient and not pushy. If there is any point that you simply can’t agree on or resolve then you need to get some good marriage help with a trained professional.


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‘The 15 Biggest Critical Mistakes Made in a Relationship and What You Should Have Done Instead!’