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Do you know the signs of a relationship in crisis? Whether you’re just starting out on a relationship or whether you’ve been married for 25 years there is always the possibility that your relationship can develop problems with you ending up separated or divorced. The best thing to do is to develop healthy relationship skills before problems develop and deal with every issue as it arises. Denial is a relationship killer. Here’s a list of 6 signs that indicate whether you have or will have a relationship in crisis.

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

  1. Rail track living. This is a red flag signaling that a relationship in crisis could be further down the track. It’s where you both live very independent and possibly fulfilling lives, but totally separate from each other. It seems as if you live in the same house and may be share the same bed, but it lacks the intimacy of a relationship. It’s like you are roommates with independent lives. You enjoy your own friends and interests but not each other. To the outside world you may appear to be happy and successful, but when push comes to shove your relationship will likely crumble when any serious pressure comes along.
  2. The presence of abuse. This includes the whole spectrum of abuse and not just physical. It includes verbal, emotional and sexual to. When you’re being shouted at you’re being abused, when you’re being belittled you’re being abused, when you’re being pushed around you’re being abused, when you’re being intimidated you’re being abused and when you’re being sexually assaulted you’re being abused. This is not a loving relationship; it’s a relationship in crisis and you need help.
  3. Playing the blame game. It’d inevitable that problems will arise at various times in a relationship. How these various problems are resolved is very important. It’s possible that a relationship may not be abusive but still unhealthy because nobody is taking responsibility for their actions or negligence. Healthy people take responsibility for their behavior and do not just point the finger at others when things go wrong. In many cases problems have more than one contributor and each needs to take responsibility for their contribution to the problem as a matter of priority. Don’t wait for the other to admit wrong doing – you go first if you don’t want a relationship in crisis.
  4. Unresolved conflicts. For two individuals to live in harmony they must have a way to quickly resolve conflicts. If they don’t then anger and bitterness begin to develop under the surface. With each additional conflict the anger and bitterness grow until at some point it spills over in some inappropriate way. They keys to dealing with this problem is with communication and forgiveness. If this action is not taken and the inner emotions are allowed to grow and fester then, sooner or later you’ll have a relationship in crisis or no relationship at all.
  5. Infidelity. Whenever infidelity exists in a relationship, the offending person is selfishly gratifying their needs and risking the value of the relationship. It maybe a consequence of already having a relationship in crisis or the consequence of unmet needs. Whatever the reason it is one of the most common causes of a break up. It is wise to deal with unmet needs in a healthy way as soon as possible, including unresolved childhood issues. It is also wise to communicate and agree on healthy boundaries within a relationship, so you both have an understanding of what is regarded as acceptable to each other.
  6. Lack of sexual intimacy. We all have a sexual appetite to some degree or another and problems will develop if this appetite is not satisfied in a healthy way in any committed relationship. Whether the problem is physical or emotional this red flag indicates you need to get help. Do not underestimate the power of the sex drive and the need to satisfy the sexual appetite.  There is no reason with today’s wealth of sexual understanding in the medical profession that people should struggle with problems in this area. For both sexes it is also a way to receive and express love that shouldn’t be neglected.

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By taking immediate action at the first sign of any of these red flags you can deal with the problem in a healthy way. Keep in mind the value of the relationship and understand that we all make mistakes and live in a world that is short on love and forgiveness. By watching diligently for indicator of any of the above problems and responding in a loving way you may well avoid a relationship in crisis if you are willing to work at the problem.


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‘The 15 Biggest Critical Mistakes Made in a Relationship and What You Should Have Done Instead!’