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If you want to get your ex back after you’ve cheated on him, you need to accept you may have a tough time of it. Winning his presence back into your life will be hard enough, but winning his trust and love will be harder and a much longer road. Significant damage is done to a relationship when a man is cheated on by his wife. It exceeds misunderstandings and disputes by a long way and will take you a long time to recover the ground and get your ex back.

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

A big issue to deal with is the extent of the infidelity. Aspects that influence the amount of damage and the time required for healing and recovery include; how many times you were unfaithful, with how many men or women and for how long. The times of the man being the only unfaithful one in society has long gone with women’s infidelity being as great and varied as men. If you are prepared to eat no small amount of humble pie and do a lot of work in restoring the relationship; there maybe a small chance that you can get your ex back and have a better relationship than you had before. You will have an even tougher time if he’s already taken you back once before.

Here are a number of things you should consider and act on if you want to get your ex back and develop a stronger relationship with him:

1. Accept that the road to a better relationship will require a lot of time and may include a lot more emotional pain than you’re already experiencing. His pain of betrayal will likely feel horrendous to him. You may well have to face some painful issues that have caused you to behave the way you do, while at the same time receiving hostility from him as a consequence of your actions. It won’t be easy for either one of you, but it can be worth it if you’re prepared to do the work.

2. Face the question, “why”. Evaluate your feelings, emotions, motives and thinking for the period of time just before you were unfaithful. What were you saying to yourself and has that changed? If not, think why should he want you back if the same stimulus is still present? Determine what needs to be done to deal with the cause of the behavior and how you can win his trust again.

3. Deal with the issue of guilt and take responsibility for your actions. It is so easy to play the blame game but it doesn’t yield a prize worth having. You may have what you consider to be a legitimate reason for infidelity, such has his infidelity or some other misconduct, but unless you start by accepting and dealing with your own guilt in the matter; you will not get your ex back with a strong foundation for the future.

4. The next step is to apologize to him and ask for his forgiveness. Make it clear to him that you deeply regret what you have done and are willing to work at doing whatever it takes to regain his trust and win him back again. Tell him you understand the damage you have done and that it will take time to rebuild the trust and relationship. Once you have expressed how you feel and your desire for restoration, let him have some space to think things through. Be prepared for a back lash, as you will be stimulating his pain and confusion over what you have done when he thought he could trust you.

5. Give his needs priority. You may have a desire to talk and work things out, but most men prefer to have some space to process what you have said. Trying to talk at this point may be detrimental to your desires. Simply express how you feel, that you want to restore the relationship and that you’d like to talk it through when he is able to do so; then leave him alone.

If and when the time comes that he does want to talk, remember to take responsibility for your behavior as priority. If you’re willing to humble yourself in this way, he may well acknowledge any failure in his areas of responsibility. Respond by acknowledging his statement but never use it against him to justify your own infidelity.

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If he expresses a desire to restore the relationship, it’s a good idea at this point to see if he is willing to go with you to get some professional help to work on the relationship. If he declines initially, you can let it go with a simple, “OK. Let’s see if we can manage without help at first, but let’s consider it later if we’re having difficulty putting things right”.

Try to keep a positive attitude, while being sensitive to his pain. If you follow these steps and respond to what he says in a loving manner, you may be able to get your ex back and have a better relationship than before.


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‘The 15 Biggest Critical Mistakes Made in a Relationship and What You Should Have Done Instead!’