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Regardless of how far down the legal track you have gone it’s usually possible to stop the divorce and start over if that’s what you want to do. From time to time people have second thoughts about proceeding with their divorce. Taking the right steps can help you to save the marriage and start over again to build a much stronger relationship.

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

The 15 biggest mistakes people make when trying to rescue their relationship and what to do instead

If you’re thinking along these lines, you need to be sure that it’s wise to stop the divorce by reconsidering the reasons you started the process. Ask yourself if you’re ready to deal with all the underlying issues that started you off on this track. No matter whose fault it was, it’s very likely that you will both have a lot of work to do. You also need to ask your self if the marriage should be saved. Is it wise to try to restore a marriage in which you were being physically abused for example? If your spouse has not had any counseling or been through a course of treatment of some kind, it would be extremely unwise no matter how much you love them!
If however your decision is to stop the divorce, then here’s a few steps to get you going:

Step 1 – Take the first opportunity to express your desire to open up the communication process with a view to stopping the divorce. Your spouse may not initially want to do so and you need to be prepared for that. It may be helpful to encourage them to consider it for a while before making a firm decision, especially if there are children involved.

Step 2 – If you are fortunate enough to get the opportunity to start communicating, it’s best to be prepared. Think through carefully exactly what your case is and be ready to express it clearly accurately and as calmly as you’re able too. State specifically what you see needs to be done to restore the relationship and exactly what you’re willing to do on your part. Make it clear that you want to hear and consider their point of view.

Step 3 – Give your spouse the opportunity to state their point of view and listen carefully to what they say. Even if their response is hostile, you will still benefit on a personal level if you consider what they say.

Step 4 – Evaluate if there’s any truth in what they’ve said and whether it would be productive for you to make some changes. This may be on a personal level in terms of your attitude and beliefs or it maybe on a relational level in terms of communication or consideration. It may also be that you may have to concede some areas are not conducive to a healthy relationship such as a hobby or activity. Consider everything and decide what you’re prepared to do to stop the divorce and save the marriage.

Step 5 – Take action on what you have decided. Look at the decisions you have both made and put them in order of priority. Put them into action on a daily basis and evaluate each week how you’re both progressing. It may require that you go along to counselling to resolve some issues. Remember that it may take some time and the facing of painful issues to resolve problems and stop the divorce from going ahead.

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If your spouse refuses to talk and decides not to stop the divorce, then you can still go through the process based on what has been said in the based and the experiences you have shared. You can evaluate them all and determine that you’re going to be a stronger wiser person for the experience. It will be a painful time if this turns out to be what happens, if you’re wise however, you can learn from the experience and make a future relationship a better one because of the experience.

Not everyone is able to stop the divorce when the other party doesn’t want to, but everyone can learn and grow from the experience.


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‘The 15 Biggest Critical Mistakes Made in a Relationship and What You Should Have Done Instead!’